So after talking about the importance of family structure, building lasting relationships, raising children, etc. we came to the topic of blended families, divorce, or also loss of a spouse. Situations that we hope would never happen to us, but something I realized as we discussed this topic is how it’s important to understand it. We never want to go through it, but it is important to understand. It may not be you who goes through it, but it could be a loved one.

There is much more that comes along with a divorce then just two people splitting up. And there is more that comes with blended families then just the mom and dad getting married to each other and the whole family moving into the same house. There is other “baggage” that comes along. Other family members, including extended family members are also impacted. When a whole family system is changed more are effected then just the two who broke of the marriage. Children have to adjust to a new parent(s), they have to figure out which biological parent to live with, when they will visit the other parent, they have to deal with the drama for lack of better word between their divorced parents, etc. Extended family has to figure out how to deal with the changes, only to name a few.

Although there are a lot of difficulties and trials that come along with divorce and/or blended families they can still be a great thing, and beneficial to the members of the family. It may take a lot more time to get the family system functioning smoothly, but it can happen. In class we watched the music video of “The Man He didn’t Have to be” by Brad Paisley. It was an incredible and moving example of a positive effect on a blended family. There were also quite a few other students in my class that are actually members of blended families too that have had positive effects. Situations are what we make of them. When we do our very best, then in the end we ultimately come out stronger.

This week’s topic was parenting. It was kind of fun. For part of our Homework for the class we had to watch a few videos on parenting, mainly the best way of disciplining. To say the least they were very cheesy and not the best acting, no offence to them, but the lessons they taught in the videos were really good. There are many different styles and ways you can parent, and it all depends on the child and parents, the videos gave some great guide lines.

A couple things in particular that stuck out to me were first, how to go about disciplining children. Yelling and spanking often times does nothing. I know for myself when I got yelled at it never helped, it always just creates bad feelings, resentment, and more problems.  I heard an experience that I thought was really key, they said they got really made at one of their children and went straight in and started yelling at them and throwing out punishments, then walked out of the room, got half way down the hall turned around and went back to their child and apologized and said they didn’t mean what they said but that he was going to talk to them about what happened in 20 minutes once they had cooled down. I thought that was so cool because how often does that happen when we respond without thinking and then more problems end up getting formed then fixed? If we can think before we respond then we have the ability to turn mistakes into learning experiences.

Second thing that I actually found kind of interesting was three different parent styles. I never really thought of there being “styles” of parenting that had names. But they are Authoritarian, Permissive, and Active or Authoritative. Authoritarian meaning the parents are very controlling, but themselves above the child, and make the child feel like they ‘need’ their parents for everything. As you would think, not very affective parenting. Permissive is not very affective either. That is when the parents are kind of just wishy washy with everything. The most affective is the Active parenting. That is when you teach responsibility, respect, courage, and other traits like that. Children are actually taught valuable lessons, and ultimately come out stronger, and with a better relationship with their parents, in the end.

Parenting may seem like a hard and over whelming task. Which in lots of cases that may be true. But very few people who have gone through the process regret it. It is a privilege to be able to have a family, to build those relationships and enjoy the other blessing that come along the way. Not only do the parents teach the children and they get to learn and grow, but the parents do as well.