A lot of good and interesting information in class this past
week. We talked about newly-weds and the transitions they go through the first
month of marriage, first year, and when children start coming into the family.
Of course when you get married there is going to be a lot of
changes taking place. Which include not just marrying the person and for the
wife to change her last name. Other examples would be making decisions together
as now a unified partnership, finances stuff, medical stuff, extended family
stuff, lots of stuff. And the list goes on. It is a lot of change, but change
is good, change helps people to grow.
The biggest change is would most likely have to be when the
first child comes along though. Reports have shown that when children are born
marriage satisfaction between the husband and wife decreases. At first I didn’t
understand how that could be. I always thought that a baby was a big bundle of
joy, which it is, along with all the crying and diaper changing. But after our
discussion and thinking about it I realized that it is possible for marriage
satisfaction to decrease with the birth of a child. First of all, it is no
longer just the two of you. You have just added a whole new individual to your
family of two, which means very little alone time for the two of you for a
while. When that baby comes along the mother often times spends all, or at
least, most of her time with the baby, which can cause the husband and father
to feel disconnected from the family and like he isn't needed. Also the fact
that the baby tends to keep parents up at night making the parents more tired; everyone
knows when you are tired you aren't very tolerable of things, which can lead to
frequent arguments, etc. which often cause tension in your relationship with
one another. The main thing I would say that can be the biggest problem is just
the fact of not being able to spend as much time together, or even just feeling
like you can't. But just because research says marital satisfaction decreases
when children are born doesn't mean it has to be true for everyone. We all have
the power and ability to choose how we will react to certain situations. It may
be a bit more work when children come along to keep your marriage strong and
increasing, but it is possible. Involve each other in all the aspects of
raising your child, communicate with each other, and love each other
unconditionally and your marital satisfaction will thrive with the additions to
your families.
Marriage is a huge step in everyone life. It is beautiful.
There are many, many challenges along the way. But through those challenges if
you work together your love for each other will grow and you will have a happy
and successful marriage. Along with the challenges there are of course those wonderful
moments of joy that we are blessed with. Children of our every own, our best
friend always there, what more could someone ask for?
